You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
