big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Randomize
