You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
