I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
