Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
