lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
