I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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