I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
