Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
