bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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