I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
ugly people sure do ruin things
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
