I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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