Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
