WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
