Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Randomize
