i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Randomize
