He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
