Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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