But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
