Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
