I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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