I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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