Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize