So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
