is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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