I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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