It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
