So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Randomize
