there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
