You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
