I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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