Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
