the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
