Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
