I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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