hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
