So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
