do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
