Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I will be naked everywhere
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
