the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
