i don't like sucking hair
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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