Life is so much better after having sex.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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