Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
