the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
