I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
