Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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