hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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