After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
