he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
