I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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