the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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